evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
