i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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