We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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