Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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