I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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