Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
