You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Randomize
