well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Randomize
