I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
