16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
