How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
