Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
