plz talk dirty to me
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
