I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
