worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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