Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
