I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
