she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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