i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
