dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
