Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
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