and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
