I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
