My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
