i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
