I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
