New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
