I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
