he wants to bone in the snuggie
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize