I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
