what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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