4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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