D3 body, D1 cock
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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