the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
