Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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