First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
