If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
