he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
