So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i love accidental penises.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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