I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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