You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
A bitchslap is in order.
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