i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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