alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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