If that was your dad, he is hot
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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