we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize