you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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