Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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