Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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