yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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