I am puke
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I wish i was in the wii world.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
