It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
