We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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