Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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