I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
