he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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