I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
