Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
