best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
